Happy New Year (sports version)...

... or not, depending on your point of reference. I sure hope mine is happy. Can't really get worse, now, can it? Here's what I hope to see (or not see) in 2007.

Barry Bonds does NOT break Hank Aaron's record

Barry Zito does NOT earn his money as a Giant

A major professional sport in the U.S. adopts a "relegation" rule

The best team rolls through the playoffs and wins the championship (Too many underdogs winning are ruining sports. What can you trust anymore)

The NFL lets players celebrate a little more

The NFL gags T.O.

Pro athlete salaries actually come down. Dramatically.

It’s our fault, really. We pay for the expensive tickets, we buy the jerseys and hats. We treat the athletes like heroes of some kind. Pro athletes run out and buy new luxuries for themselves whenever they feel like it while my kid's school is recycling the same books for years and the teachers are buying crayons for the classroom

ESPN goes out of business. Then football players will learn how to tackle, basketball players will learn how to pass, and baseball players will learn how to hit the cutoff man

Less TV Shopping Channels

Less foreign language channels

More...actually, any... free "adult" channels (yeah, I said it. You wanted me to)

To borrow an idea from The Sports Guy, teams should be required to hire a V.P. of Common Sense and run all decisions through him or her.

Raise your hand if you don't care whether Brett Favre retires

Raise your hand if you want all the sportscasters to SHUT UP about Favre already (especially Michaels and Madden)

Raise the rim to 12 feet

Make a dunk worth only 1 point

In fact, if touching the ball above the rim is goaltending, isn't a dunk illegal?

Sorry, I'm diverging from the format at times

But seriously, Favre is crying after the game and the reporter asks, "What are your emotions right now?"

New rule for baseball to end the embarrassing "brawls". Leave the dugout or bullpen to join a fight, you are suspended and fined

Hockey does it, other sports should try. Commit a penalty, you’re off the field for a set time. Football... two plays. Basketball... a minute or two. Soccer... five to 15 minutes depending on the violation. Hey, why not?

Baseball needs something like this, too, but they have no fouls or penalties. How about you strike out with a runner in scoring position and less than two outs you can't take the field on defense the next inning until there is one out. If it’s the pitcher or catcher, the opposition picks another player to take a seat. Now what if two guys do it? Yeah, make two guys sit!

Don't ever forget about the underdog

Happy New Year. Have a good '07.