Happy New Year (personal version, skip it if you're only here for the sports)

I'm looking up at 2007. I paraphrase from Dream Theater:

Life is short
So learn from your mistakes
And stand behind
The choices that you make

Face each day
With both eyes open wide
And try to give
Don't keep it all inside

You've got the future on your side
You're gonna be fine now
You're ready to begin
Don't let a day go by in doubt
The answer lies within.

**

I've shed enough tears this year, but I can't say I won't shed more.

To those people who stood by me, Thank You and I Love You, for you are the reasons I was able to keep it together. Even though my "posse" may be small, it is powerful, as evidenced by how I would feel before and then after talking it out with any one of them. I won't hesitate to tell you what you mean to me this year (not that I failed to do that this year, mind you).

To anyone out there who I may have wronged in some way, I'm sorry. If you come to me I will say it to you personally. Now let's see if those who have wronged me will do the same. Speaking of... A special note to them: I have never been treated so poorly, and subjected to as much baseless contempt and dishonesty as I was by you. You have no integrity and no future as honorable people. If you have a conscience, listen to it and do what is right for once. It'll save me the trouble. Someday, who you really are, and what you did, will be known in a way that will affect you, and then may you suffer as I have. Remember, it’s only a secret if only you know it. But if as I might suspect, you can't even be honest with yourselves, then just know that I will always be a better person than you.

Day one has begun...

Happy New Year (sports version)...

... or not, depending on your point of reference. I sure hope mine is happy. Can't really get worse, now, can it? Here's what I hope to see (or not see) in 2007.

Barry Bonds does NOT break Hank Aaron's record

Barry Zito does NOT earn his money as a Giant

A major professional sport in the U.S. adopts a "relegation" rule

The best team rolls through the playoffs and wins the championship (Too many underdogs winning are ruining sports. What can you trust anymore)

The NFL lets players celebrate a little more

The NFL gags T.O.

Pro athlete salaries actually come down. Dramatically.

It’s our fault, really. We pay for the expensive tickets, we buy the jerseys and hats. We treat the athletes like heroes of some kind. Pro athletes run out and buy new luxuries for themselves whenever they feel like it while my kid's school is recycling the same books for years and the teachers are buying crayons for the classroom

ESPN goes out of business. Then football players will learn how to tackle, basketball players will learn how to pass, and baseball players will learn how to hit the cutoff man

Less TV Shopping Channels

Less foreign language channels

More...actually, any... free "adult" channels (yeah, I said it. You wanted me to)

To borrow an idea from The Sports Guy, teams should be required to hire a V.P. of Common Sense and run all decisions through him or her.

Raise your hand if you don't care whether Brett Favre retires

Raise your hand if you want all the sportscasters to SHUT UP about Favre already (especially Michaels and Madden)

Raise the rim to 12 feet

Make a dunk worth only 1 point

In fact, if touching the ball above the rim is goaltending, isn't a dunk illegal?

Sorry, I'm diverging from the format at times

But seriously, Favre is crying after the game and the reporter asks, "What are your emotions right now?"

New rule for baseball to end the embarrassing "brawls". Leave the dugout or bullpen to join a fight, you are suspended and fined

Hockey does it, other sports should try. Commit a penalty, you’re off the field for a set time. Football... two plays. Basketball... a minute or two. Soccer... five to 15 minutes depending on the violation. Hey, why not?

Baseball needs something like this, too, but they have no fouls or penalties. How about you strike out with a runner in scoring position and less than two outs you can't take the field on defense the next inning until there is one out. If it’s the pitcher or catcher, the opposition picks another player to take a seat. Now what if two guys do it? Yeah, make two guys sit!

Don't ever forget about the underdog

Happy New Year. Have a good '07.

Last warmup before playoff picks

The apparent meaningful trend for this week is strong playoff bound teams playing weaklings. It may not bode well for these playoff teams to have an unchallenging game just before the playoffs lest they get too relaxed. This therefore looks good for those playoff bound teams that have a worthy final week opponent, like New England, then maybe Baltimore with Buffalo being on a roll of late. That's it. Jax and K.C. play each other with the winner having only a chance of making the playoffs so if one of them does make it, put them in the tough-opponent-in-the-last-week category as well. The rest of the playoff teams either play a total weakling, or they play at home against a semi-weakling.

Of course, after this week's games, I wil give my predicions for who I think will make the playoffs. I think I will do very well with those predictions.

On to this week's picks:

NY Giants at Washington
Roll a turd out onto FedEx Field. Then watch the Redskins step in it and wipe their feet. Now watch the actual game. You won't see much difference. Washington to win.

Pitts at Cincy
Cincy has a chance to make the playoffs with a win, but this is the bad decision team of the year and it all comes together in the last game where they choke their chance away to Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh really needs to win this one to salvage their post championship year, and Pittburgh will win to do just that.

Detroit at Dallas
Screw it, Dallas will win.

New England at Tennessee
Here's the deal, Tennessee keeps winning. In different ways, all close, but winning. Too late for this year, but next year...look out. Tennessee will win this game.

Jax at K.C.
A Jax special. Collapse on the road against a good team. K.C. to win.

St. Louis at Minnesota
Ummm, who cares, Part 1. Even though with a win St Louis might make the playoffs. Maybe they will. They will win this game.

Carolina at New Orleans
New Orleans finishes strong, but against Carolina, who wouldn't?

Oakland at NY Jets
*Laughing too hard to tell you that the Jets will win*

Seattle at Tampa Bay
Seattle: Weakest division winner ever. At least they win this one to finish over .500.

Cleveland at Houston
Who cares, Part 2. Not even playing for the first pick in the draft. That's how boring this one is going to be. Houston will win.

San Francisco at Denver
Denver to win. I can't talk about the Niners anymore. They have done me wrong all year.

Miami at Indy
Indy will win for the last time this year.

Atlanta at Philly
Philly to win; just too good as of late as they roll with Jeff Garcia into the playoffs.

Arizona at San Diego
San Diego will win, but I hope they forget this one as soon as its over.

Buffalo at Baltimore
Baltimore will relax just enough to give Buffalo a chance, but in the end, Baltimore is just too good to lose this one.

Green Bay at Chicago
The only reason this will possible be close is because Chicago has no offense. Chicago to win.

There you have it folks. Wish me luck.

Re-capping my lousy picks once again.

I think this is my 9th week doing this. It’s all just a warm-up for the REAL picks. The ones that count. The playoffs. Then I will really be on my game. For now, for what its worth, who cares, how'd I do?

Minnesota at Green Bay - CORRECT
"...Green Bay should win."
And so they did in a manner which caused several inadvertent napping sessions to break out all over the country since this was a nationally televised game.

Kansas City at Oakland - CORRECT
"This game is OIL. KC to win."
Anyone out there pick Oakland? Anyone?

Carolina at Atlanta - WRONG
"Atlanta to win."
Jeez. 94 yards passing (with two INT's) and 8 whole first downs by Atlanta against a Carolina team that would have had trouble defeating its cheerleaders the past few weeks.

Tennessee at Buffalo - WRONG
"Buffalo to win."
Tennessee remains on a hot streak (MHS) and Buffalo died. The Titans can still make the playoffs and I think it would be cool, and scary for opponents. They need to win and have Denver lose, and Cincy lose, and K.C. would have to win, and I think the Cubs would need to win the World Series, too.

Tampa Bay at Cleveland - CORRECT
"Tampa should win this one."
Call it the Ex-Niner Factor. Tim Rattay, winning QB. See also Philly & Jeff Garcia. If you have an ex-niner starting at QB, you will win.

Chicago at Detroit - CORRECT
"Chicago will win this game."
Yes, but again, wayyyyy to close. Chicago will die in the playoffs.

Washington at St Louis - WRONG
"I will not be watching Washington win the game."
Doesn't that sound like I'm NOT picking Washington? Like, I'm not going to watch Washington win, uh, because I think they are going to lose? No? See how if I only give you the last sentence I can take things out of context later. Sort of like claiming to be misquoted in an autobiography. I need to pick all my games in a vague double meaning way from now on.

New Orleans at NY Giants - CORRECT
"WAKE UP New Orleans. Ahh, the Giants. That should do the trick."
Eli Manning: 9 for 25 for 74 yards. Factoring in sacks, the Giants had 59 yards passing. Oh yeah, just two minutes into the game, Eli threw a 55 yard TD pass. the Giants had a net of FOUR YARDS PASSING the rest of the game. Never took a snap over the 50 yard line in the whole game. This is Raider-level anti-quality playing. And to top it all off, the Giants still have a shot to make the playoffs as an 8-8 team.

Baltimore at Pittsburgh - CORRECT
"Baltimore wins."
Another EASY pick.

New England at Jacksonville - WRONG
"Jax to win."
Okay I missed it, but it was only a three point win. Wrong, but not horribly so.

Indy at Houston - WRONG
"Indy to win."
Indy just proved itself to be the worst good team ever. You can't really expect to contend in the playoffs when you lose to a team like this. Bad Indy.

Arizona at San Francisco - WRONG
"If the Niners are true to form, they will win this game."
And just when I thought the Niners might be on to something....

Cincinnati at Denver - WRONG
"Anyway, I think Cincy will win this one"
So Denver seems to be getting it together with the rookie QB just in time for the playoffs, which they seem really likely to make now. But really, Cincy blows a sure tie with less than a minute to go by blowing a PAT? Whatever.

San Diego at Seattle - CORRECT
"San Diego wins this game."
Normally if you beat a division winner on the road you've accomplished something. Not so here. San Diego wins by only three, dropping the NFC West champs to 8-7. San Diego IS the team to beat. Super Bowl favorites as we speak.

Philly at Dallas - CORRECT
"Stuff a Cowboy loss in my stocking, please. I've been a very good boy. Dear Santa, Philly to win."
I was clearly on the good side of Santa's list. Let that be known to some of the "former" people no longer in my life. I'm good, and you suck.

NY Jets at Miami - CORRECT
"...Hopefully there will be Christmas pudding with brandy butter, and mince pies.... Jets wear green, so Jets will win."
There was, and they did. Christmas Day was really good to me. If I get around to this weeks picks, I will break down how the Jets can make the playoffs. That's a joke, they are in with a win this week. So they are in. They play the Raiders.

Another 9-7 week for me. Not too good, really. Of course if I was in the NFC, I'd be a sure playoff team with that record. 68-56 overall, meaning with just 2 correct picks this week, I can do no worse than .500 for my inaugural pickishness. Considering that the Raiders and Lions both still play, there's my two right there.

See ya.

Nominations for the Sports Idiocy of the Year

Its time for my annual Sports Idiocy of the Year award. In some places awards will certainly go out to Terrell Owens for his body of lunacy, and the Cincinnati Bengals for achievements by a team with their eight (at last count) arrests. There are also numerous bizarre injury awards (not necessarily due to stupidity) like Jeff Francoeur injuring himself sneezing and Thomas Jones injuring himself TAKING a team physical.
I am going to ignore the obvious and present some other worthy nominees. I like to think of this as a place where absolutely stupidity, or one time idiotic acts or decisions are rewarded. It'll make you all think to yourselves, "Oh why are they able to be so rich and famous with that brain?"

My nominees:

David Beckham - Beckham was asked in an interview about helping son Brooklyn with his homework: "I think it was maths, actually. It's done totally differently to what I was teached when I was at school, and you know, I was like, 'Oh my God, I can't do this.'" Brooklyn is seven.

LeBron James - During a "Read to Achieve" session with elementary school children, Cleveland Cavaliers forward LeBron James was unable to read one of the tongue-twisting names in Dr. Seuss' "Oh, the Places You'll Go."

Joel Zumaya - Detroit Tigers pitcher Joel Zumaya was sidelined during the playoffs with an injury described as "right wrist and forearm inflammation caused by playing video games".

Eddie Griffin - Griffin, a highly paid professional basketball player for the Minnesota Timberowlves was cited for (among other things) "Inattentive Driving" after an incident in March. He was also drunk. And the inattention? The porno DVD he was watching on the dashboard video screen of his Cadillac Escalade.

Mitch Cozad - University of Northern Colorado punter... backup punter...former backup punter. Former because he was kicked off the team, and evicted from the dorms, and expelled from school, and yeah, arrested, after stabbing the first string punter in the leg, the kicking leg, of course.

Joe Cullen - A coach for the Detroit Lions. No, that is not what he is nominated for, though it’s almost good enough. But Cullen is an overachiever. He was arrested for DUI on Sept. 1st. Okay, I know that's not going to get any awards in the sports world. It was a good follow up to Cullen's incident a week earlier, on Aug. 24th, when Cullen was arrested for driving without... clothes at a Wendy's drive-thru (and how many of you said "license" to yourselves?).

Those are the nominees; please vote in the comments section. And while you ponder the tough decision that awaits you, I bring you sports related idiot Konoshin Kawabata, 48, of Osaka Japan. Kawabata is a thief and one night as he was on the prowl for something to steal, he came upon an unlocked door. So enter unlawfully he did and browsing for something to take, he unfortunately awoke one of the occupants of the building, a dude named Hideyuki Kawahara, who is also known by his Sumo name Dewanosato. Oh yeah, the building is a training center for sumo wrestlers. Kawabata was placed under citizen's arrest.

Your vote counts!!!

One of those bugs again

Basketball fouls, what’s up with that... Okay, I was watching a college game today and I saw a foul. A stupid, why-is-it-a-foul foul. Dude catches ball, shoots, and after he lets the ball go, a defender, just a little late, touches his wrist, or hand. Anyway, in no way whatsoever did this act by the defender affect the shot. The shot actually made it, and here is the referee calling a foul cause the guy hit the other dudes arm, not the ball. Can someone tell me what the foul is here? I get it that if you hit the guy and affect his shot to the point that he misses, it’s a foul. I get that. But, ummm, nothing the defender did affected the shot; it was not harmful, malicious, or flagrant. He was bit late and touched the guy. Whoopie.

Same game, dude goes for a layup, and a defender touches the ball when it was on the way down toward the rim. Ball goes in anyway, and although it WOULD have been a goaltending call, the shot was good, so like no harm, no foul.

Basketball has some of the most stupid, idiotic fouls in all of sports. You can legally flatten a guy on a screen, no foul. You can beat each other to death trying to get "position", no foul. Look funny at a guy who is shooting...FOUL.

Thank you for letting me rant for a moment.

Oh yeah, don't get me started on traveling.

Combo picks post

I figure that I might as well just explain why I was wrong for last week and pick this week at the same time. Heck it’s getting hard to tell when last week was and when this week starts anymore. I mean I know that the week starts on Monday, or Sunday, but in football it usually starts on Sunday, unless its college then usually on Saturday, except when it starts on Thursday, or even Wednesday, ending on Saturday, or Monday. Except for Tuesdays. They seem to be pretty much football free zones. Problem with that, its Tuesday right now and there's a bowl game on ESPN. Am I going to get anything right this week?

I realize I didn't spend much time analyzing last weeks games before I made my picks and the results of that method will be made obvious in a moment. Now as we get closer to the playoffs, some games have different meanings than usual. Like if I'm the Lions and I can knock someone out of the playoffs, I might just try a little harder to end the season on a good note. Ok, the Lions may be a bad example, but you get the point. So what I'm getting at is that I will be putting some actual though into my picks the rest of the year. And my reasoning will hopefully make no sense at all, as I hope for.

Oh yeah, and within two weeks I will make my predictions of who I think will make the playoffs. All the great football writing minds do this, and I'm no different. Except that the others foolishly do this BEFORE the season starts. What dolts. Who could guess that early?

San Francisco at Seattle - WRONG
"They are about to kick off in Seattle. It is raining. Seattle will win the game.
But... GO NINERS!!!!! (First time I've felt it worthy to cheer for them this year) (Actually, go Frank Gore, my starting fantasy running back)."
Frankie really helped me out. He was the only one, so I lost in round one of the playoffs. The Niners surprise people, me included. Check this out, the Niners sucked gutter scum in the first year of Bill Walsh and Joe Montana (2-14), then improved a little the next year (6-10), and no one expected much the third year, but the won the damn Super Bowl. So here's Mike Nolan and Alex Smith. Year one, 4-12. Year 2, sitting on 6 wins with two to go. The pattern emerges so watch out for the Niners next year. And holy golly Alex Smith is actually starting to look like a QB for a change. Several darned impressive...outstanding even... plays and solid thoughout the game. But what is more important is the offensive line, even when a starter goes down, they continue to do the job. A big chunk of O-Line success is playing well as a unit (yeah, awesome talent helps, but only so much). This bodes VERY well for this team. I wonder if the addition of Larry Allen, though not the super stud he was in his prime, has anything to do with this. The guy knows what it takes, and surely knows how to pass on this knowledge.

Dallas at Atlanta - WRONG
"Atlanta off wins, Dallas off a loss = Atlanta wins game."
Enough about the Niners and their awesomeness already. I hear you all over there. So I'm getting giddy about my team again. So what. I hope they play the Cowboys next year. It would be so fitting to plow over the Cowboys on the way to the Super Bowl. Yes it would. Not sure what happened to Atlanta in this one.

Miami at Buffalo - CORRECT
"Miami only beats who you don't think they will, Buffalo too. Buffalo wins game."
Remember back in the 80's and it was always Miami and Buffalo going to the super bowl? How many did they win again? Buffalo is on a roll. Remind me.

Tampa at Chicago - CORRECT
"Chicago way better, wins game."
Chicago also felt they were way better. They appeared to have assumed victory and left the field well before the game was over. Thankfully for them, they returned for the overtime. This is not a good sign for the NFC come super bowl time.

Detroit at Green Bay - CORRECT
"Detroit way worse. Green Bay wins game."
No one cared. Certainly not I, beyond the fact that I got it right.

Jacksonville at Tennessee - CORRECT
"Vince Young keeps winning. Tennessee wins game."
Well, I was right about the winner, but it sure wasn't Vince Young's doing. Then again, Tennessee didn't so much win and Jacksonville gave it away. Tennessee had FIVE first downs and less than a hundred total offensive yards. Pathetic.

NY Jets at Minnesota - WRONG
"Jets came back to earth. Minnesota wins game."
Theory... Jets are boring. Opponent thusly falls asleep. As do game viewers.

Houston at New England - CORRECT
"Hope for snow, New England wins game."
Four INT's for David Carr. And he fumbled once (got it back). Rumor is David Carr brew up a Patriot fan.

Washington at New Orleans - WRONG
"New Orleans too good. New Orleans wins game."
WTF? New Orleans lays an egg. Just like I said about Chicago, this does not bode well for the NFC. The top teams simply have to beat the also-rans. One other note... Drew Brees is my fantasy QB. His turd-like performance just might have cost me the playoff win.

Pittsburgh at Carolina - WRONG
"Carolina shaky, Pittsburgh ugly. Carolina wins game."
Carolina shaky, ugly, rancid, and DONE.

Cleveland at Baltimore - CORRECT
"Baltimore way better. Baltimore wins."
Yeah. Easy pick. No brag.

Denver at Arizona - WRONG
"Denver going wrong, Arizona going right. Arizona wins game."
Yeah. Lousy pick. What was I thinking? Arizona?

St. Louis at Oakland - CORRECT
"Its the Dysfunctional Bowl. Oakland champs at dysfunction, St. Louis wins game."
I watched the California State Championship Football games last weekend. First time in a long time the state has pitted northern Cali against Southern Cali winners for a state title. Three good, well played games... You know where I'm going with this don't you? Of course you do. And yes, you gotta admit, any one of the six could have. You gotta admit it.

Philadelphia at NY Giants CORRECT
"Philly on a roll, NYG wacky dudes lately. Philly wins."
Maybe, just maybe, my most astute pick of the week. My only astute pick of the week.

Kansas City at San Diego - CORRECT
"San Diego just the best team in the league right now. They win."
Nice little game overall. But lets just concentrate on my Fantasy team, shall we. I would have hoped for even little bit from Antonio Gates. Or Larry Johnson, or anyone else on the KC offense, seeing how my opponent racked up some points with the San Diego defense.

Cincy at Indy - WRONG
"Abbreviation bowl. Scoring will not be abbreviated. Cincy has a longer abbrev., Cincy to win."
Indy did their part.

For the week: 9 right, 7 wrong. I'm now 59 and 49 on the "career" picking games straight up. Not too good. A little look inside the numbers this week makes me look worse. I get six of my nine correct picks this way, by picking Chicago, New England, and San Diego to win, and by picking Detroit, Cleveland, and Oakland to lose. This is not so hard to do. My other three correct picks were Buffalo, Tennessee, and Philly, and all three are on major hot streaks, all I did was notice that. Again, not really all that impressive. Throw out the really obvious winners, and then pick opposite me, take those picks to Vegas and you're rich, baby.

Just for fun, I'm gonna note the games this week that fall under the three categories: Obviously superior winner (OSW), obviously inferior loser (OIL), team on a "major hot streak" (MHS). I'll avoid a team on a "major losing streak" because they are probably already an OIL. And soccer in the U.S. is hurting enough (and if you get the joke, let me know). Besides, losing is so easy to do, you don't have to be on a streak to do it.

So without any further raving about the Niners immediate future.... on with the picks (and for the record, I will rave about the Niners some more):

Minnesota at Green Bay
Not to start off with the excuses already, but I usually type all the game headers and then go back for the "analysis" and the pick. As I typed in the headers this week, I was shocked at all the games that will be hard to pick. Lots of Good vs. good, and crap vs. crap games. This is one of them. The second kind. Favre either throws for 400 yards and 5 TD's, or he throws 6 picks. Either way, Green Bay should win.

Kansas City at Oakland
This game is OIL. KC to win.

Carolina at Atlanta
Carolina needs something to get back on the winning track. I think it's next years training camp. Atlanta to win.

Tennessee at Buffalo
MHS vs. MHS in this one. My edge? Well it goes to Buffalo. they are really a TEAM on a hot streak, whereas Tennessee has been a player on a hot streak, and last week got plain lucky with defensive scores. Buffalo to win.

Tampa Bay at Cleveland
OIL vs. OIL. This game will implode. Not even the NFL office will pay attention to this one. Except to check for uniform compliance. Tampa...as much as it pains me to say it...well, their uniforms look better. Tampa (coming after a HUGE near win) should win this one.

Chicago at Detroit
OSW vs. OIL game. I hate wasting two easy to pick teams in one game. Cuts into my record. Chicago will win this game, or they should have to forfeit their first playoff game as punishment.

Washington at St Louis
St Louis shutting out Oakland should mean nothing. They are still borderline OIL themselves. Washington, who should not take too much pride in beating a Saints team that failed to show up, is not much better, but they have been more "okay" than the Rambs (spelling intentional, one step away from being the Lambs again). I will not be watching Washington win the game.

New Orleans at NY Giants
WAKE UP New Orleans. Ahh, the Giants. That should do the trick. Warm up the voice all you wanna be announcers out there. Prepare for the game... repeat after me... "Eli back to pass, throws it off his back foot, INTERCEPTED!"

Baltimore at Pittsburgh
OSW game. Baltimore needs to keep up with the Joneses. Make that the Mannings and Bradys and Riverses. Who is Baltimore's QB this week? Like it matters. It might in the playoffs, but not this week. Baltimore wins.

New England at Jacksonville
New England may be a part time OSW, but not against Jax. This is simply the kind of game that Jacksonville wins. Jax's problem is the losses to Houston, and Tennessee, and Washington and Buffalo. These keep their record down, not allowing them to get home field in the playoffs, and their home is where they beat teams like New England. As they will do this week. Jax to win.

Indy at Houston
OSW vs. OIL. 2nd one this week. This schedule is killing me. Indy to win.

Arizona at San Francisco
Check my theory out with this one. If I am right about the Niners, this is exactly the type of game they will win. At this stage in their development they might not kick ass, but its the type of opponent that last year, and in fact earlier this year, they lost to. (Next week at Denver will be the more telling game, frankly) If the Niners are true to form, they will win this game.

Cincinnati at Denver
Here's hoping that Cincy, win or lose, takes a lot out of the Broncos, weakening them for next weeks game against the Niners. Now if Denver wins this one, they can clinch a playoff spot, otherwise, their playoff hopes may depend on that game against the Niners. I'm totally rooting for a situation where the Niners go into Denver, and knock Denver out of the playoffs. I so want that. Anyway, I think Cincy will win this one, based on true analysis...they just better right now.

San Diego at Seattle
Very OSW! If I were predicting playoff teams, I would likely pick San Diego as a team with a chance to get in the playoffs. AND I'M GUESSING THAT WITH TWO WEEKS TO GO!!!! Astounding. Seattle is likely going to make the playoffs. Oh the power of the NFC!!! San Diego wins this game.

Philly at Dallas
Bonus Monday game! How many damn times is Dallas on in a prime game slot (Either Sunday night or Saturday, Monday, or Thursday games)? Frickin' A, NFL, not everyone is Gald Darn Cowboy fan. You morons. Oh sure, we may like to watch them lose horribly, but you give us Philly? Or the Giants? Come on, how about letting us see them get crushed by Baltimore. Or run over by the Colts? Or kidnapped, assaulted, and murdered by the Bengals? Every shred of fiber in my being wishes to see the Cowboys lose. Its Christmas for Santa's sake. Stuff a Cowboy loss in my stocking, please. I've been a very good boy. Dear Santa, Philly to win.

NY Jets at Miami
I will be a bit potty from all the nog by the time this game rolls around, so I will need something to help me stay up for it. If you recall, I think the Jets are boring, too. Hopefully there will be Christmas pudding with brandy butter, and mince pies. These things always get me jacked up. This reminds me, I better get off my butt and get my shopping done. Oh tannenbaum. Jets wear green, so Jets will win.

And to all a good night!

Picky football games

I'm really busy this week, so not much thought with the picks. Deal with it.

Dallas at Atlanta
Atlanta off wins, Dallas off a loss = Atlanta wins game.

Miami at Buffalo
Miami only beats who you don't think they will, Buffalo too. Buffalo wins game.

Tampa at Chicago
Chicago way better, wins game.

Detroit at Green Bay
Detroit way worse. Green Bay wins game.

Jacksonville at Tennessee
Vince Young keeps winning. Tennessee wins game.

NY Jets at Minnesota
Jets came back to earth. Minnesota wins game.

Houston at New England
Hope for snow, New England wins game.

Washington at New Orleans
New Orleans too good. New Orleans wins game.

Pittsburgh at Carolina
Carolina shaky, Pittsburgh ugly. Carolina wins game.

Cleveland at Baltimore
Baltimore way better. Baltimore wins.

Denver at Arizona
Denver going wrong, Arizona going right. Arizona wins game.

St. Louis at Oakland
Its the Dysfunctional Bowl. Oakland champs at dysfunction, St. Louis wins game.

Philadelphia at NY Giants
Philly on a roll, NYG wacky dudes lately. Philly wins.

Kansas City at San Diego
San Diego just the best team in the league right now. They win.

Cincy at Indy
Abbreviation bowl. Scoring will not be abbreviated. Cincy has a longer abbrev., Cincy to win.

I only picked three road teams to win. Most of the games its either home team is just better, or the home edge is the difference. I didn't just pick all the home teams to be lazy. Lets see how I fare, shall we.

Some stuff, some randomly

I could play right tackle for the 49ers and there would be no noticeable dropoff in performance...Some people think they know everything, but most of the time they are really only hoping that you know less than them...I am not very patient, I want instant karma...I mean, I have instant coffee, instant cocoa, instant oatmeal, and even instant mac and cheese...And yes, I hate people who don't deserve what they have, especially when they take it from me...Gifts from one's kids are the best kind...I hate flies...If you didn't work for 6 months, would you get bored?...Don't sports teams realize there is not that much difference in what you get from a minimum salary rookie than from a high priced superstar? At least not enough to account for the difference in salary...Look at it this way, did Alex Rodriguez produce 7 times as much as Brandon Inge?...If you knew your local police department let untrained people run around with badges and guns, would you approve?...Don't ever waste time deciding which celebrity you would sleep with. It'll never happen anyway...Do I want the different, yet still interesting job (which pays less, but is "easier") or same interesting job like I had before (which pay more, but is "harder")?...If you could travel anywhere, right now, all expenses paid, would you go to a "vacation" spot, or go see family and/or friends?...Do I ask too many questions?...I passed by the scene of a head-on accident on the freeway today. It got me thinking, who would I NOT stop and help if saw them involved in such a collision? (Notice how I did not wish ill upon anyone, just won't stop and help)...Why is it okay for an ethnic person to make fun of their own etnicity, and to use otherwise unacceptable ethnic slurs toward their own ethnicity?...That did not make sense...I am a cracker...If the Earth WAS flat, could you see India from North America?...In what three ways can you tell if a box of cereal has any cereal in it without touching it?...Is there anything that has been in use without improvements for so long a time as the Number 2 Pencil?...I'm thinking I need another sports bit about now...I'm n ot one of them, but I know a lot of people who buy things for the "image"...Could you name a really whiny athlete in three different sports? Go ahead, its really easy...

Thursday, quickly

San Francisco at Seattle
They are about to kick off in Seattle. It is raining. Seattle will win the game.
But... GO NINERS!!!!! (First time I've felt it worthy to cheer for them this year) (Actually, go Frank Gore, my starting fantasy running back).

Let me know how I did.

The Last pick re-cap episode (until the next one)

I think there is a conspiracy in the NFL this year. Teams start kicking ass all over the field, I think they are unbeatable, then they lay eggs against the meek. And those meek. One day they can't beat the middle school all stars, then they roll off three in a row against playoff contenders. All in a grand design to keep me down, man.

Oakland at Cincy - CORRECT
"Cincy should win this one."
Too easy. Lets move on.

Minnesota at Detroit - CORRECT
"I'll manage to pick Minnesota in this one."
Not really any tougher to pick this one.

Baltimore at Kansas City - WRONG
"K.C. should beat Baltimore."
Shocking, just shocking. I have no real excuse for this one. Well, it was a tough game to pick, so I'm not that bad for missing it, at least I got the next one right. Uh, I did, didn't I?

New England at Miami - WRONG
"Don't care but just enough to pick New England."
What the frickin' crud happened here? Someone needs to explain how these games can happen. Just when you think a team is "something" they aren't. And when you think they are "nothing" they are.

Atlanta at Tampa Bay - CORRECT
"Atlanta may be back on track. Tampa still sucks. Atlanta to win."
Was this a defensive battle or a "lack of offense" battle?

Philly at Wash. - CORRECT
"That means Philly should win."
Jeff Garcia for MVP!

New York Giants at Carolina - WRONG
"Carolina intercepts Eli 7 times and wins the game."
Eli: THREE TD's, ZERO Interceptions. Who saw this one coming?

Indy at Jax - CORRECT
"...for picking Jax to win this game."
This one I feel good about. Indy has some serious issues stopping the run. This will hurt them (see how smart I am?)

Tennessee at Houston - CORRECT
"Tennessee should handle Houston. Vince Young is hot."
And who scored the winning touchdown in O.T.? Who? Yeah, that's right, Vince Young did. Vince Young for MVP!

Seattle at Arizona - WRONG
"Oh good. Back to a good team playing crappy one. I was getting tired of having to think to make picks. Seattle to win."
Well I missed it. Matt Leinart follows Vince Young into the winners column. This result just adds another layer of mediocrity to the NFC.

Green Bay at San Francisco - WRONG
"San Francisco should win."
The Niners resort to their ever cute losing ways. Just when I actually thought (for a change) they might win.

Buffalo at New York Jets - WRONG
"I am becoming a Jets believer. Then I see Pennington still at QB and I waver. They do have a shot to make the playoffs and lose in round one. Oh well. Jets should defeat the Bills in this one."
I am officially off the Jets bandwagon. Does Buffalo have a bandwagon yet?

Denver at San Diego - CORRECT
"San Diego to win."
San Diego is clearly the team to beat. Until they choke one up like everyone has. But until then....

New Orleans at Dallas - CORRECT
"New Orleans should beat Dallas."
This was one enjoyable game to watch. New Orleans kicked Dallas' ASS. Best part... N.O. play called no T.D., N.O. challenges a call, wins the challenge and thusly has a T.D., then the ON SIDES KICK is recovered and then a bomb for another T.D. to just deflate the Cowboys. Well, Parcells didn't deflate, he is still full of hot air.

Chicago at St. Louis - CORRECT
"This one will feature Chicago winning."
And we end on a high note. As do the Bears. Decent thrashing of the Rams. Just still too many "non offense" points make them look better than they are, and the Rams were able to move the ball.....

9 right and 7 wrong this week. Not too darn good. I quit. 50 and 42 since I started keeping track. If anyone out there has picked worse than me, can you please let me know. I need to feel better about myself.

Picking games

I skipped the Thursday game, and I am so glad. I had no reason to watch or pay attention for any reason whatsoever. Instead I saved my considerable forecasting talents for the important weekend games in the quest for the perfect week. And in case you are wondering, I'm gonna take credit for perfection without picking that dumb Thursday game. 15 games is still good enough. Just like the bye weeks. On to my superior selections:

Oakland at Cincy
This is a good sign. The first game of the week is possibly the easiest game to pick all year. Cincy's defense is hot, giving up a total of 7 points in two weeks. If it were possible, they could hold the Raiders to minus points. Cincy should win this one.

Minnesota at Detroit
Lead off the schedule with the two worst teams in football. It would be nicer if one of the better teams were up against Detroit, but I'll manage to pick Minnesota in this one.

Baltimore at Kansas City
So much for breezing through a bunch of easy picks. I wish this one was at Baltimore. I'm all about K.C. at home. Somehow I can never seem to get behind Baltimore 100%. Maybe its the constant lack of offense. K.C. should beat Baltimore.

New England at Miami
Don't care but just enough to pick New England.

Atlanta at Tampa Bay
Atlanta may be back on track. Tampa still sucks. Atlanta to win.

Philly at Wash.
Philly magically won last week, so I'm guessing that the Jeff Garcia experience continues in an upbeat mode. That means Philly should win.

New York Giants at Carolina
Two teams who really have been trying to lose every game. The Giants are much better at that. The one thing they have going for them. Carolina intercepts Eli 7 times and wins the game.

Indy at Jax
Do you realize how many keystrokes I save by abbreviating these two teams in this way? Jax is crushing good teams and losing to crap. Typical. Makes it hard to forecast a winner in a Jax game. I think I've missed more of theirs than any team but Dallas, and that's because I hate Dallas and ALWAYS pick against them. Excuses, excuses...for picking Jax to win this game.

Tennessee at Houston
Their records are only 1 game apart. Throw out the records. Tennessee should handle Houston. Vince Young is hot.

Seattle at Arizona
Oh good. Back to a good team playing crappy one. I was getting tired of having to think to make picks. Seattle to win.

Green Bay at San Francisco
Thinking.... Ok, just go with the home team. San Francisco should win. Ummm, score of 20-17. How's that?

Buffalo at New York Jets
I am becoming a Jets believer. Then I see Pennington still at QB and I waver. They do have a shot to make the playoffs and lose in round one. Oh well. Jets should defeat the Bills in this one.

Denver at San Diego
Wow. San Diego...really good, but playing closer games than they should. Denver, really good...or they were, but then changed QB's, and now....well they will struggle for a few weeks at least, until new QB gets some experience. In this game, he will experience the grass. San Diego to win.

New Orleans at Dallas
The Saints are my hope for redemption. Go forth to Dallas and trod upon the Cowboys. New Orleans has really been on top of their game, and Reggie Bush suddenly decided he CAN play in the NFL. Just hold onto the ball, Reggie. Just hold onto the ball.... New Orleans should beat Dallas.

Chicago at St. Louis
Hee hee. Started with and easy one, ending with an easy one. The signs are there for the perfect week. I feel good about this. Except for that one game. Or maybe two of them. Three? No matter. This one will feature Chicago winning.

Think positively. If we work together we can do anything.

Fifth try at picks, the recap.

Baltimore at Cincy - WRONG
"Baltimore WILL win this game!"
I was sure of myself. Not at first, so I should have stayed with the old first instinct again. Who knew Cincy had a defense?

San Diego at Buffalo - CORRECT
"San Diego will win this game"
Maybe my problem is overconfidence? Yeah, San Diego won, but barely.

Minnesota at Chicago - CORRECT
"Chicago wins"
Come playoff time, Chicago will need an offense. Remember that. You can't count on special teams and defensive touchdowns in the playoffs.

Kansas City at Cleveland - WRONG
"KC will win this game."
I said "will" again. Two out of three "will" games are losers and the third was too close.

NY Jets at Green Bay - CORRECT
"I will not fall for my own second thoughts again. Jets will win."
Finally I listened to myself. It paid off.

Indy at Tennessee - WRONG
"This should be one of the easier picks of the week. Should be. But Vince Young is starting to look like the unbeatable dude he was at college, and you can't seriously think to pick against a guy like that. Right? However, this is Indy. Cream of the crop. Top of the mark. Pick of the litter. Tennessee, and Vince, have not yet proved that they have reached that level of "can beat anyone". Until they do (maybe after this one) I gotta go with Indy to win."
Again I must torture myself by repeating my logic. When will I learn? I really wanted to pick Tennessee but sort of talked myself out of it. No more. Tennessee is now a team to reckon with, and Indy is NOT immune to losing at any time.

Arizona at St. Louis - WRONG
"St. Louis will win."
I said WILL again, didn't I?

Detroit at New England - CORRECT
"New England will win"
Ok, thank you Detroit for sucking so much. I said "will" and again, even though I got it right, it far closer than it should have been. "Should", now there's a word I should ...will... use more often.

San Francisco at New Orleans - CORRECT
"Therefore, New Orleans will win this game."
A "will" pick that was right on the money. Its about time.

Atlanta at Washington - WRONG
"Stinker of the week? ... Washington will win."
My picks are the stinker of the week.

Houston at Oakland - WRONG
"I gotta go Raiders in this one."
Seriously, the Raiders held Houston to NEGATIVE passing yards. And lost. From now on, if something is so bad you cannot compare it to anything to make someone understand just HOW BAD it is... call it Raider Bad.

Jacksonville at Miami - WRONG
"I look deeper. I pick Miami."
What was I looking deeper into?

Dallas at NY Giants - WRONG
"The Giants have been stinking up the joint lately... the Giants, I think, really should win, because they really need to."
And I do believe I have lost all confidence in the Giants now. And I do believe I have missed EVERY Dallas game so far. Hatred hurts.

Tampa Bay at Pittsburgh - WRONG
"And the 10 year old says: Tampa Bay."
I swear I would have picked the Steelers.

Seattle at Denver - CORRECT
"I do believe Seattle will win."
I do believe I got another one right, surprising even myself at this point.

Carolina at Philadelphia - WRONG
"Until further notice, Philly will not win (without McNabb and all), unless they play Detroit or Oakland. Carolina is not Detroit or Oakland. All I have to say is this: Hey, Carolina, get off your asses and play some football, will ya. You are better than, um... losing to Washington! Gee whiz. Carolina to win."
My punishment...here is my logic again. This is why I do not bet on football.

Well now, 5 weeks of this? I'm 41 and 35, which for just picking winners is not too hot. I may continue to embarrass myself doing this. I may just pick opposite how I would pick if I was trying to pick the winner just for fun. In any event, one of these days I'm going to have a perfect week and don't you want to be there to witness it?

Picks of mine

Here's hoping the rest are better than the Thursday one:

San Diego at Buffalo
San Diego is much better. Even on the road, in the snow (if there is snow) San Diego is better. San Diego will win this game or step one in the road to the end will be achieved.

Minnesota at Chicago
Chicago is like the best team in the NFC, if only by default at this point. But no matter, they are at home against a crappy team. Time to clinch the division? Chicago wins, or step two in the road to the end will be achieved.

Kansas City at Cleveland
Kansas City was shaky last week. And the week before. Cleveland was worse than horrible against Cincy. Not quite a stinker, because KC is still at least decent. And KC will win this game.

NY Jets at Green Bay
Ok, this one baffles me, I'll admit it. I really want to pick the Jets. They've been good on the road, Green Bay really bad at home. Favre is two years past useful at this point. I think the Jets QB is Chad Pennington, and I really hate the name Chad, but Chad trumps Brett at this point. I really want to pick the Jets. And since that is my first though, I will pick the Jets. I will not try to rationalize picking the Packers. I will not fall for my own second thoughts again. Jets will win.

Indy at Tennessee
This should be one of the easier picks of the week. Should be. But Vince Young is starting to look like the unbeatable dude he was at college, and you can't seriously think to pick against a guy like that. Right? However, this is Indy. Cream of the crop. Top of the mark. Pick of the litter. Tennessee, and Vince, have not yet proved that they have reached that level of "can beat anyone". Until they do (maybe after this one) I gotta go with Indy to win.

Arizona at St. Louis
This one has the makings of the stinker of the week. The makings only, but its not THE stinker. You'll see. The key to picking this one is "AT ST. LOUIS". Its the only factor that I can take seriously. Arizona's only hope would be a pumped up Matt Leinart, but after USC's choke job to UCLA, Leinart will likely spend Saturday night lying drunk in a gutter. St. Louis will win.

Detroit at New England
New England will win or step three in the road to the end will be achieved. And every Patriot fan will implode. And the earth will reverse on its axis and destroy all life upon its surface.

San Francisco at New Orleans
Not quite as easy to pick as the game above, but New Orleans is WAYYYYYY better than the Niners. Really. This does have the makings of one of those "emerging team shocks the world by beating wayyyyy better team" games.... again, the makings, but not all the fixin's. Therefore, New Orleans will win this game.

Atlanta at Washington
Stinker of the week? Again, not quite able to make that claim. As bad as Washington is, Atlanta has crashed into a wall. Washington has the New QB smell coming off a win. That bodes well for them. Until Atlanta proves wrong the late year collapse theory, I gotta pick against them. Washington will win.

Houston at Oakland
Stinker of the week, part one. This one has the makings, the fixin's, and the whole ball of wax. Part one only because its not the only game that can make that claim this week. Houston's a little better. Oakland is at home. Hey, check this out. Oakland fired their offensive coordinator. Me thinks the new guy is going to want to prove himself right off the bat. Expect some new things from Oakland. Like SCORING. I gotta go Raiders in this one.

Jacksonville at Miami
I look at this game and see teams going in opposite directions. Miami is on a "can't pick against them" roll, and Jacksonville just lost to Buffalo (and they have a habit of losing to sub-.500 teams in general). If you only look at records, you'd pick Jax. I look deeper. I pick Miami.

Dallas at NY Giants
The Giants have been stinking up the joint lately. Dallas has been rolling along just fine with Romo under center (and over Jessica Simpson, perhaps?). How can you root against that guy? Well, I have no issue with Romo, except that he plays for Dallas, and that's not really all his fault. Not now, anyway (but save yourself Romo, first chance you get, get out of Dallas). So this game really becomes a HUGE one for the Giants. If they lose it, their season may very well be over. But rally around each other (and stop bitching about each other to the media), especially rally around your fragile QB, and show everyone that you are still a team to fear. I just saw the U of Florida's QB throw an interception on an attempted shovel pass to a guy 10 feet from him, and I never imagined a QB doing that badly, so unless Eli starts getting even worse and doing things like that, the Giants, I think, really should win, because they really need to.

Tampa Bay at Pittsburgh
Stinker of the week, part two. Someone will win only because someone has to. No, I am not going to predict a tie again (that was a joke and it cost ME a chance at a win). I am above picking the winner of a second certified stinker in the same week, so I am allowing a 10 year old who knows nothing about football the chance to pick it. And the 10 year old says: Tampa Bay.

Seattle at Denver
Sweet game here. Seattle is hoping for snow. So far, they're the only team to win a game in snow this year. Denver has chosen to switch to a new QB. Mr. Jay Cutler. Worrisome, but those first time QBs often tear it up in their first start. Or do they choke, gag, and puke on the sideline? A lot of times, a brand new QB entering DURING a game for the first time thrives because the opponent was not planning for his "style", but that next game, when the opponent can prepare, and has something to view to plan against, then is not the shining moment for that new guy. I'm going to take half of this, the part about Seattle being able to plan for Cutler, and assume that they are going to do the smart thing and confuse him, show him things he has never seen, and generally kick his butt. I do believe Seattle will win.

Carolina at Philadelphia
Until further notice, Philly will not win (without McNabb and all), unless they play Detroit or Oakland. Carolina is not Detroit or Oakland. All I have to say is this: Hey, Carolina, get off your asses and play some football, will ya. You are better than, um... losing to Washington! Gee whiz. Carolina to win.

See you on Sunday (or Monday, or Tuesday.................)